


That one time Wade should have known better but didn't

by orphan_account



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Drunk!Wade, Established Relationship, M/M, no-healing-factor!Wade, pretty!Wade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 23:39:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10729668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Wade temporarily loses his healing factor and Spider-Man comes to his rescue.





	That one time Wade should have known better but didn't

Wade loses his healing factor temporarily and he’s not too upset about it because he’s  _ hot _ again. His skin feels and looks great and although he loves the red suit it’s currently hung in the closet, per Spidey’s request. 

 

Admittedly, Wade would be having more of a good time with his new-old look but Peter is overprotective since, in his words, Wade is “vulnerable” and “brash” and “uncaring about the consequences” and “an idiot who would forget he can’t regenerate at the moment and would die permanently and never be forgiven.” 

 

Wade  _ would _ be pissed, but his Spidey is so cute when he’s worried and Wade’s heart flutters when he thinks that the actual real life Spider-Man is worried about  _ him.  _

 

So DP goes along with Peter’s requests and he stays back instead of joining him on patrol, no matter how much he wants to accompany him. He keeps himself out of trouble as best he can and waits patiently at their home for Peter to come back. Wade loves to play the role of the domestic husband anyway, and when Peter crawls in through the window in the early hours of the morning Wade is there to caress and cuddle and fuck and cuddle again until the sun comes up and their routines start again. 

 

Wade is happy but he’s so fucking bored. 

 

He knows Peter means well, but Wade can’t stand another moment staying behind while Peter goes out to do the ass-kicking. His healing factor isn’t the only thing he’s got going for him anyway, and though he’s not angry at Peter for worrying he’s definitely annoyed that he’s taken so lightly, so he pulls out the red suit, puts it on and goes out into the night, trying to pretend he doesn’t feel insulted. 

 

Wade isn’t stupid--okay, sometimes he’s a little dumb--and he doesn’t want to die, hasn’t for a while now, not since Peter. He’ll be careful. He’ll be like Spidey, disarming and tying up and scolding, but nothing dangerous, like taking bullets or putting his limbs near sharp and pointy things. It’s not like he ever liked doing those things anyway, it’s just…

 

Habbit. 

 

He realizes too late that Spidey is absolutely right when he says that Wade doesn’t know how to measure the consequences without his healing factor. He’d nearly gotten his hand chopped off trying to lift a dumpster off a man trying to sleep behind it and for once he had a mild panic attack when the bleeding wouldn’t stop. He can move all his fingers, and he’s used to the pain, but it still sucks like a motherfucker and Wade needs a drink. 

 

He has several drinks. 

 

Again, he forgets his healing factor doesn’t exist and before he knows it he’s plastered and the bar he walked into now has three of the same bartender and Wade thinks his head is going to explode. 

 

He starts crying. 

 

“Spidey was right,” he wails, reaching and failing to grasp onto the bartender. “I’m dumb I shoulda stayed home. Can you call him?” 

 

The bartender grumbles at him, telling him to call the Spider himself and to get the hell out of his bar, that it closed two hours ago. 

 

“Use the signal,” Wade sobs and makes laser sounds while pointing finger guns at the ceiling. He’s interrupted from his crying when his cellphone rings and he answers it with a weepy greeting. 

 

“Wade?” Peter sounds concerned and it only makes Wade cry harder. “Are you alright? Where are you?” 

 

Wade isn’t sure where he is, or at least, he thought not but the next thing he notices is that Spider-Man has come to his rescue. He’s talking with the bartender, probably apologizing and Wade throws in some cuss words because, 

 

“What the actual fuck you giant loser? I paid you an’ tipped you so fuckin’ extra you’re such a sour--” 

 

“Okay, big guy,” Spidey is saying softly to him as he stands Wade up and leads him out of the bar. 

 

“All I did was drink,” Wade says sadly. “This never happened before.” 

 

“I know,” Peter soothes and damn he looks great in that Spidey suit and holy shit Wade can’t believe this is his life. Peter/Spider-Man/Wade’s All Time Fav is  _ his _ . “You’re bleeding, honey.” 

 

Peter grabs Wade’s arm to inspect the wound and hisses when he sees the deep gash. “When was the last time you needed stitches?” 

 

Wade shrugs and leans towards Spider-Man, wrapping his arms around him and laying his head on his shoulder, face pressed into his neck. 

 

“Can we swing home?” Wade asks him. 

 

“Normally I’d say yes,” Peter answers as he easily lifts Wade into his arms. “But you’ll definitely throw up on me and I just washed the suit. How bout I carry you all the way, princess style?” 

 

“Yes please,” Wade sighs, relaxing in Spidey’s arms. Peter is warm and it feels good against the cool air around them and Wade takes a deep breath that relaxes him even further. Peter smells and feels like home. 

 

“Wade, love,” Peter says gently as he kisses Wade’s face. “Tomorrow, when you’re feeling better I’m going to have some words with you.” 

 

Wade feels a little guilty for worrying Peter but he can’t help but grin because, honestly, neither of them really expected anything different. 

**Author's Note:**

> I post short fic and headcanons on [tumblr](https://wadepool-kun.tumblr.com/). Come talk to me about Spideypool!


End file.
